Swimming: Learning to

Dear Henry Albert,

Your Mommy and Daddy are taking you to a swim pool place. You are going to learn to swim. To swim is good. Swimming is fun; good exercise, helps you meet girls and helps you to not drown.

Who is that?

Is that a fish?

Looks like a little boy.

Can that be Henry?

Swimming can also be dangerous. You must make sure you don’t swallow water in the pool. There can be all kinds of nasty, yucky stuff in pool water. There can be germs, bugs and sometimes, nasty people pee in the pool and do even worse.

Yuch! Feh! Phooey!

Being in water a lot can be dangerous. You must also be careful you don’t get any fish diseases. Especially, Fish Eyes or Fish Brains.

Fish Eyes is when your eyes begin to look like fishes eyes. If your eyes start to look like fish eyes, it is weird and scares people.

Fish Brains is when you start to think like a fish. Also you begin to want to eat worms and flies and bugs. Also, fish are very stupid. Some people say that fish is “brain food”. If they had any brains, they wouldn’t be fish.

So … Swimming is good, or at least, OK. But … Make sure you don’t swallow the pool water or any of the stuff floating around in the pool.

Also … Regarding eating fish for “brains”: Tell your Mommy and Daddy to stick to mashed carrots or squnched green peas. P.S. The only kind of fish that I eat is pickled herring.

P.P.S Who is that?