Cloning + Elections + Smurfs

Dear Henry Albert,

The FDA (Food and Drug Administration) said it is OK to eat cloned things.

Cloning is when you make one thing from another and they are both the same. They take a little bit of a sting bean or a cow or other stuff and make a duplicate which is copy with more letters. When they do that the new string beans, cows and other stuff are all the same. That’s DULL!

Most baby food is squnched, squashed, mashed and obliterated stuff that probably all tastes the same anyway. Cat, who was Grandma Paula’s first cat liked Gerber’s baby food. Cat also liked tomato herring, melon and spaghetti. That was before they started cloning things.

This year the Smurfs are going to be 50 years old. Smurfs were created (not cloned!) in 1958. They first appeared on October 23, 1958. The creator of Smurfs, Smurfdom, etc. is a Belgian and their name is actually Les Schtroumpfs. Smurfs are cute.

2008 is a Presidential Election year. That means they have Primary Elections. In the Primaries, the candidates usually insult each other and accuse each other of being liars and other bad stuff. They are usually right. After the primaries, the candidates who win accuse the other party (Democrats or Republicans) of being a bunch of lying thieving sociopaths who steal from the public and are destroying America. Both are right.

Candidates spend most of their time yelling, lying and making promises they won’t keep. They also keep begging for money and trying to make themselves less revolting than the other candidates. “Experts”, political commentators, TV reporters, pollsters, analysts and others are paid to say or write something. As a result they continuously babble and spew endless drivel that most people ignore.
In January we celebrate the birthday of Martin Luther King (MLK). The Democratic Candidates claim a special relationship with MLK and his famous “I have a dream” speech. (Hillary Clinton was 6 years old at the time and Barak Obama was 2.) All candidates go to church a lot.
You are starting to talk. Grandma Paula taught you to say things like “La-la-la”. That’s good. You should learn things like “Mama” and “Dada”. Your Mommy and Daddy will teach you other sounds. Maybe Yiddish?Animal sounds are good, like quacking and mooing. Also, "Hitzach".

In order to run for President you must be over 35 and be born in the U.S. The rules don’t say anything about sex or race or much anything. The rules also don’t say anything about phylum or species. (????) It makes you think. We may be better off a turtle or a marsupial like a wombat (Wombats have distinctive cubic scats.) or a platypus or a moose. Hey, how about a duck?
Republicans cut taxes for rich people. They steal from the public and like Jesus. Democrats say they will cut taxes for poor people (who don’t pay taxes.) They steal from the public and like diversity.
For true diversity they should nominate a one-legged gay African-American hermaphroditic female duck who stutters and drools a lot. It will be an improvement.

Time for soup and a nap.