New sneakers

Dear Henry Albert,

I got new sneakers.

I bought New Balance model CM478G0 size 12 (in U.S.). Size 12 in U.S. is 11 ½ U.K., 46.5 E.U. and 30 CM. (I think CM means China). How come there are so many different numbers for the same foot size? Why don’t China and the U.K., and the E.U., and the U.S. use the same way to measure a foot?

The sneakers were made in China. It says that on the inside of the tongue. (Tongue??? I should explain that some shoes have tongues but it will be more fun if you ask your Mommy or Daddy to explain. ) (cat tongue little girl tongue doggie tongue)

The sneakers are “cool”. The last time I bought sneakers was 17 years ago. I know because I kept the shoe box (which should be called a sneaker box.) to store stuff and it had the receipt in it. (Old smelly sneakers)It is good that shoes come in different sizes because feet do too. And … it is a fact that most people’s foots are different sizes. Not a lot, just a little. It is better to have one foot that is smaller than the other. To have one foot that is bigger than the other is not good because it is easier to fit a smaller foot in a bigger shoe than a bigger foot in a smaller shoe.

Shoe size can be very complicated. They measure the length and width and height and all kinds of stuff. Did you know that? Some manufacturers offer shoes of different width for the same foot length. Such shoes are then also labeled according to the width or girth of the widest part of the foot (typically measured directly behind the toes with the subject standing on both feet and wearing socks or hose).

There are a lot of measurements.
Inch: At first an inch was the width of a man's thumb. In the 14th century, King Edward II of England ruled that 1 inch equaled 3 grains of barley placed end to end lengthwise. Foot: In ancient times, the foot was 11 1/2 inches. Today it is 12 inches, the length of the average man's foot. Does that mean it grew? 12 inches = 1 foot. Ounce: Unit of weight. 16 ounces = 1 pound and 128 ounces = 1 gallon. Watt: Unit of power. The power used by a current of one ampere across a potential difference of one volt equals one watt. 4 watts = 1 huh?

Sneakers and shoes are usually sold in pairs. Usually one for the left foot and one for the right foot and usually both are the same size. What about people with different size foots and people with two left feet or people with only one foot?

Buying shoes or sneakers can be complicated. Buying cantaloupe is easier than buying shoes. If the cantaloupe is not mushy, has no dark or mottled spots and smells nice, it is OK to buy. The same applies to sneakers. (If sneakers are made in China, would they smell like egg rolls? )

My foot is 12 inches long and I wear size 12 and my new sneaks cost $39.95. Somebody who wears size 9 would pay the same amount. I pay $3.33 per inch. The other guy would pay $4.44 per inch. I got a bargain! Is that fair? People with smaller feet subsidize people with big feet. It’s like the Farm Bill and all those crooked politicians.

And if the sneakers were made in Italy, would they smell like pizza?

It is time for a nap.